What should you talk about when drinking different (popular) types of drinks?

How often do you invite someone to have a drink with you? Not necessarily at a bar and with alcohol, but a cup of hot tea in a cafe on an autumn day. Or a refreshing lemonade in the summer heat?

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Sometimes, zero-dates happen over a cup or a glass of a drink in everyday life. We do not always perceive a conversation in a couple as a date if there was no official invitation before. But what if there is already a man or a girl in front of you that you are attracted to? You plucked up the courage and invited them to have a cup of something together. What topics are worth discussing so that quenching your thirst together or enjoying a tasty drink becomes your first personal meeting?

Suppose you know how long it takes to drink a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. In this article, I offer the topics for conversation (small talk) appropriate for each drink, which is deep enough so you can open up the interlocutor and be remembered. And just as simple – so you don’t forget them while ordering, for example, a matcha latte with ice on oat milk.

Water (drinking time for 200 ml from 30 seconds to 3 minutes). Probably the most valuable and popular drink on earth, and just so unnoticeable when you drink it on a date. Where can you drink water together: during a lunch break in the office, at a marathon and other sporting events, at the sea, during the summer heat in a metropolis on the street, before they take and bring your order to a cafe. The idea of “drinking water” is about the basic needs of each of us; we drink water from the moment we are born. Ask something about childhood or other basic needs. Examples of questions:

• Do you remember how you drank water as a child when you ran around with friends?
• How did you play with water as a child?
• What is your most vivid memory associated with water (or just a childhood memory)?

A coffee and coffee drink (a drinking time of a cup of coffee from 5 to 15 minutes). We drink coffee to perk up, mainly in the first half of the day. Perhaps you met in a cafe or at an event. At this moment, we are active professionally or socially. Coffee is a rich, active drink, and modern culture allows various flavors. Start a dialogue with an interest in the professional role of your interlocutor, and expand on the range of their tastes and preferences – in places, events, and travel:

• What is your favorite place in this city (if you are in a cafe)?
• Where did you drink the most delicious or unusual coffee?
• How did you start doing what brought you to this event (if you meet during an event)?
• Why do you like doing what you do (hobbies, work) in your life?
• What would you do if you had to start from scratch?
• What do you and the barista have in common?
• What is unique about you? What qualities do you need to do your business?

Tea (drinking time for a cup of tea is 10 to 40 minutes). It is not for nothing that there are entire tea ceremonies – this is not a simple drink that needs time to open up. The same goes for the person you drink tea with – give him time to open up. If you ordered tea, you are most likely in no hurry. Enjoy this drink and your conversation, but instead of going into philosophical topics – try asking your interlocutor about his (her) family and his (her) values:

• What is your warmest family memory?
• How do you imagine your family, and what is your role?
• How do you imagine a day off for your family?
• What was so special in your family that made you closer to each other?
• Is there any everyday activity or hobby (tradition) in your family?
• What place does family occupy in your life?
• What holiday is considered “family” in your understanding?

Beer (drinking time for a 0.5l glass is from 20 to 30 minutes). This reasonably social drink is typical in companies, bars, and festivals. Since the drink is quite budget-friendly, it is actively consumed during student years and other study periods in youth. Hence the nature of the drink and, therefore, the nature of the conversation. Ask your interlocutor about his social side in the context of friendship, camaraderie, and sociability:

• Do you like being the center of attention?
• Do you know how to be a real friend?
• How would your friends describe you?
• Who is your best friend?
• How did you spend your student years?
• Do you quickly get along with new people and make friends?

Wine (drinking time for a 200 ml glass is from 45 minutes). A drink for tete-a-tete drinking. Only one wine can set the tone of the conversation for the evening. Some would call wine a natural aphrodisiac, but I would say that we also have social & vibe stereotypes about drinking wine – on an official first date in a restaurant, on Valentine’s Day somewhere in a secluded corner of a cafe, on the beach during a romantic picnic. And if you are next to the object of your affection and are choosing what to drink together – you can create an atmosphere of private conversation with a glass of wine to taste. Let the waiter or bartender introduce you to the drink, and let this wine in the glasses become a silent witness of your first conversation in private. Enjoy the taste, and here, ask your interlocutor about their personal characteristics:

• How long ago did you end your previous relationship;
• Who, in your opinion, would be an ideal partner in a relationship for you;
• What kind of relationship are you interested in as a partner;
• What character traits attract you to a partner? What do you especially value?
• What was valuable for you  in your last relationship;
• What kind of date have you always dreamed of going on?

And finally, this guide is more of an approach than a direct instruction. If your partner drinks only coffee – this does not mean that you cannot ask him (her) “tea” questions 😉 Improvise, be spontaneous, feel the context. A particular drink can become a hint or an excuse to start a conversation, but then – you will have to develop your dialogue independently. If you don’t know what question to ask, try remembering some of my questions. Let the first dialogue go smoothly, and you will be able to invite your partner on your first date, during which you can fully enjoy the company and the interesting conversation.

p.s. And leave space for your partner to ask you questions. Your sympathy can be mutual.